Wanderer's Journal #15

     Green seemed to be the color that took over after that day. Jealousy seized more than just Kay (who as it turned out, was an incredibly jealous girlfriend). Marie-Lynn, the girl with flaming hair, became jealous almost immediately. She was confused, and so was I. Thousands and thousands of thoughts went through my mind, mostly asking "Kay or Marie-Lynn?" I couldn't decide, it was like it was an impossible question. Maybe it was my doubt that Marie-Lynn and I would get back together, and stay together, that held me back. Kay seemed more solid, but still there was no connection. She could read me only by what she's taken the time to notice before. I am a protector. I was then too. Pit one versus another, I thought. If they were to fight, I would have to pick a side to protect.

      In my head, I saw Kay slapping Marie-Lynn. Marie-Lynn returned with a slap of her own, a much stronger slap. It was quickly made clear that Kay was in more danger than Marie-Lynn. My arm blocked the next slap, with its twin sending a punch to the stomach of the aggressor. I still wanted to protect Marie-Lynn. I felt like I needed to. Maybe I did back then. Kay was not the one I needed to protect. That's when I figured it out. But how to go from Kay to Marie-Lynn was more complicated. Still one thing kept me going, the knowledge that Kay will never be another Marie-Lynn. But that wasn't the question I was asking.

     My eyes slid closed and my world came back into existence. Green grass climbed up my legs, greeting me. I was home and I knew it. Something had shaken my world recently, something while I was away. There was a tug at my jeans from the grass, pulling me towards a path left behind by something unknown. The path was long beaten, but completely unfamiliar to me. The grass blades began singing to me, telling me what they had saw. From what I heard, there was no fire; it wasn't Marie-Lynn. My heart sighed with that knowledge, even with Kay around I wished that Marie-Lynn was. But I was never that lucky. A stone is carried to my hands by vines that stretch across the outskirts of the forests ahead. At first it looked pink, but then every color of the rainbow became visible. I pocketed the stone, hoping that it would bear answers in the future.

     A dream came one night following the finding of the odd stone. A girl, one who shared some classes of mine, with dark hair and dark eyes appeared in it. In the dream it seemed like we were alone, a twisted version of reality. Her face was twisted like reality was, but I felt like a fool who had fallen in love with a princess who would never love him back. And in reality, that's all it would be, but in this dream... She loved me, and despite the twisted feeling of the dream, I loved her in return. It lead me to question my position with both Kay and Marie-Lynn. Could I give up the girl with the flaming hair for the girl born of darkness?
-Zero