Book me to close

This is no story. It is not a fictional piece. This is me thinking about who I really am.

Traditionally, people know themselves better than anyone. We live in a society that demands that we have someone who knows us on a deeper level than "Hi" and "Bye". Everyone has someone, ideally at least. But what happens when someone closes themselves off, both to themselves and to others?
They find themselves alone inside, lying to others to fake belonging. Everyone wants to fit in, but what if the act of closing themselves off actually made them stick out more? It's an endless question at this point, a question we've all asked. Its importance is different in this situation, but why? What makes these people so different?

Go find yourself several books and open all of them to a random page except for one. See which one sticks out more now. It's not the content of the books that make them stick out from each other at this point, that's why the closed book looks so out of place. It's different, a rebel, an outsider. Even if the book was the exact same book as the other few, it would stick out because it's closed and they aren't. If every book were closed and that one book was open, it would be different again. But that would be a closed version of society.

We live in an open society, so the one closed book is a different one. Let's say I am that closed book. I'm human so I do have flaws, plot twists of the mind. I spend my time with my friends, but often find myself wanting to be alone. Questions take up my thoughts everyday, but one repeats itself at all times. Who am I? I can ask everyone around me and find that, really, no one gets it right. They don't know who I am and who is to blame?

I don't know who I am, and no one else does either. I'm told I'm a closed book and I should open up when I thought I was open all along. I want to change it but how do I do that? It's not easy when you were oblivious to it for so long. The way you act, the way you talk, is it all a lie? Suddenly the world seems so different and you've lost the path you were on years before this all started.

The only question I still have to ask will give me the answers I've been looking for. In a world like ours, someone like me seems to stick out. Is it a survival thing, or a learned mistrust of society, or both? I do believe it's both. Nowadays it seems like we must question what our neighbors say to avoid being deceived. There was a time that we would not question the things our friends tell us, but that time is long past. A new era of dishonesty and jealousy is here.

I am a closed book in nature. I closed myself off to protect myself, to stick out, to fight conformity. I am what I am. What I do and say may not be true, but ask yourself this. Is what you do and say any more true than I?

-Zero

Zero's update

Hey guys, who ever's reading this. I just thought I'd post a description of a book I'm working on. It won't be too specific but I'm sure it'll do. You'll notice that the main character's name is Kuna Severem Zero as well. It's the basic background of the name, I couldn't change it for the life of me. In essence, it's my story. I've got a good 70 pages down but I'm afraid I'm no where close to finishing, and I have to type up about 50 pages of it still. I've been working on it, and editing it massively due to improvements in my writing. Alright here is it.

The world is broken and torn apart by hate. Nightmares stalk the streets and specters loom over them. This could have been avoided, if not for one sixteen year old's choice. Twenty years have passed since that day and Kuna Severem Zero finds himself in a dream that's become reality. It's there he meets Marie-Lynn, it's there his life changes, forever.