At Home in Her (poem)

I found myself at home in her,

in her tiny room but big bed,

lying next to her as she dozed off,

sipping on fresh mint leaf tea.

I found myself at home in her,

in her sleepy smiles, her “I'm awake”s,

as I cleared the bed to sleep,

tucked her in and went to sleep in the next room.

I found myself at home in her,

in her absolute adoration of sleep

that kept her alarm going off regularly,

in her sleepy resignation to morning.

I found myself at home again,

and I can't thank her enough for that.

-Zero

These Monsters (not monsters) (poem)

Inspired by "Skinny Girls Bleed Flowers", a slam poem by Savannah Brown (here)

These monsters (not monsters) tell me to love tiny,

thin, pretty skinny girls,

whose collarbones stick from their loose shirts,

delicate like the dying branches of a tree.

These monsters (not monsters) tell me to only love girls

who could be used as sails on a boat,

beautiful like a tapestry of dead leaves

that crumbles when I touch it.

They tell me pretty girls bleed flowers,

that when their porcelain breaks daisies spring forth,

and from their empty stomachs, lilies,

sunflowers burst from their throats.

And I'm a swarm of aphids,

blood red, sucking the sap from the sunflowers,

so these monsters (not monsters) tell me not to fight

these voices I've heard all my life.

These monsters (not monsters) tell me it is worth it,

that beauty demands sacrifice,

these pretty skinny girls,

these pretty dying girls.

-Zero

The Last Goodbye (poem)

The last time I saw her

was the last time I ever would,

so I watched her go.

I stood and remembered

how once we were so close,

how we laughed and smiled.

I remembered the puns she hated,

and the movies she loved,

and even her favorite drink.

I remembered all the things I wanted to say,

but never could tell her,

so I wrote thousands of hidden words.

I could have remembered everything,

but that couldn't change what we had become,

that couldn't stop the eternal goodbye.

So I stood there and watched her go,

remembered everything and whispered:

“goodbye”.

-Zero

Why I Will Marry the Wrong Person (poem)

Inspired by: Why You Will Marry the Wrong Person - The School of Life

I am absolutely mad,

I get lost in my own fictions

that cause me to doubt reality,

constantly analyze relationships,

and I'm haunted by the past,

still not over past loves,

burdened by the guilt

that came when everything fell apart.

I am drawn to madness,

to reminders of that first love,

who was volatile and dangerous,

married to self-destruction,

drank often at thirteen,

three energy drinks a day,

depended on smoke to relax,

as if she was burning instead of the weed.

I am lonely,

I think too much on love,

imagine love with every passerby

who just happens to catch my eye,

and I refuse to reject possibility,

so I accept every single one,

just to escape this horrible feeling

of a star surrounded by nothing but the abyss.

So I'll rush into commitment,

chasing fleeting feelings,

chasing familiar madness,

just to escape my loneliness,

to pursue a family,

to build a home,

but it will fall apart,

because I will marry the wrong person.

-Zero

The Challenge of July 2016, Camp NaNoWriMo (update)

For the first time in years, I had considered not to do Camp NaNoWriMo this July. If you're not aware, I've completed my NaNoWriMo (National Novel Writing Month) word counts fourteen or so times consecutively since being introduced to it in Fall 2011.

It was a strange idea and concept, and to those who knew me well, a strange turn of events to hear of me almost deciding not to participate at all. In truth, I had little to no ideas for what to do, no inspiration in a way. On top of that, I now work full-time as a gardener, so the amount of free time I have to write has gone down significantly.

But with recent events in June, I had begun to reconsider my choice to not participate. I had a couple new ideas, like a story of great redemption or another love story of some sort, but ultimately I found myself thinking that this was the perfect time to do NaNoWriMo. It will be difficult because of the new factors, and, in some cases, it would put me in similar positions as my fellow writers.

I had a choice to make. I could get lost in yet another love story, in its trials and tribulations but its ultimate overcoming of all obstacles, or I could venture through horrors, face dragons, and wake up. The options were the new novel that had been brewing in my head, or the series I began in April 2015, “Escape from Dreamscape”.

Ultimately, “Escape from Dreamscape” won out. Besides my own general aversion to beginning an uninspired undesired new novel, I felt more drawn to the story of Blake Tessier's escape from his own slumber. Like “The Beginning of the End”, it's about returning home, only Blake has to remember what his home is and wake up to it.

As in this recent April Camp NaNoWriMo, I will only be doing 50k words, which is the same as the standard NaNoWriMo word count in November. I have done 100k a couple times, but I feel I have little I want to work on and little time to dedicate to that, so 50k will do.

I am hoping to possibly getting through the fantasy portion of “Escape from Dreamscape” and possibly moving onto the horror portion, as the series is separated in four parts, all of different genres and styles.

Anyways, it is hard to say what will happen over the course of the month. Hopefully it goes well. But for now, this will do. Until next time,

-Zero

Camp NaNoWriMo Website here

NaNoWriMo Website here