It has been well over a month since I last posted here, and there is a reason for that. In total honesty, I have been pondering the value of this blog, as well as my own motivations for keeping it. I have been doing this for a long time. The first post was in late December of 2010. I was only 16 at the time and in my last year of high school. Suffice to say that a lot has changed since then.
Recently I have been questioning that desire to have an audience that often comes with blogs and the like. Why write and post it online if not for others to read? And why is one chasing after that audience? Is it some misguided attempt of fame or fortune? Is it therefore insincere?
In all honesty, I don't have very many answers for this, even for me personally. I can't imagine I am in it for the money considering this blog has never be monetized, but all the same, I've questioned it over the past few months, and with my 75k goal for Camp NaNo occupying me most of the month, I haven't had much extra writing time to dedicate to this blog.
I have watched countless writers share their work over the meanwhile as well, in public forums, and sharing to Bywords.ca where I am on the selection committee for the monthly publications. I read them and wonder if they ask themselves the same questions, or if they share simply because they want to.
Of course, there is that part of me that feels like writing is both intensely personal and intensely social at the same time. Sometimes we create something for ourselves and ourselves only, and other times, we create to share. I don't question the intentions of musicians when they perform. There is something inherent in that act of performance, or sharing of art, that seems to change the way we engage with it. We put it out into the world and see how it does. Maybe we're just giving back what we've been given.
Regardless, I will be continuing to post here again despite past doubts and uncertainties. No more this month with it being in the final hours and all, but in May I hope to get back in the habit, regardless of why.
Until next time,
-Zero
