I remember the anger and the hate that had been building up inside of me all that time. I somehow knew she was lying to me; she would never be mine again. No matter how long I would have waited she wouldn't become mine again. She was a liar, a traitor. She was just waiting for me to turn my back so that she could put her dagger through it. She hated me deep down for being different too. I knew I did not belong and people always tried to have me change for them.
I will admit though, she was on the verge of a breakthrough. Sara too influenced me to change. Things were going well for them, but one day something rebelled inside of me. I grew red with rage; I needed to be alone. They would not let up, not now, not ever. I told Marie-Lynn that I have to take some time alone in my own world, just a couple years off. She seemed to worry only about herself when I cut her out; she didn't ask what caused this change. The first year alone again I spent just staring at the fire Kim had found me in. I wondered constantly if it was not because of Kim that it remained lit. I was tempted to walk back into it, but fear held me back.
Fire, since I was young has been my element, my symbol. No one seemed to understand that you can create a flame, you can kill it, but you can never tame it. My fire was especially stubborn; it called out to me at all times. It called out to me even in reality. People can call me insane all they want, I know they're nothing like me. Fire is strong, passionate and has a rage like nothing else.
Marie-Lynn had no idea what kind of horrors lied under my skin, and she never did. Even if I let her in completely and told her every excruciating detail, she would be ignorant still. Ignorance is bliss they say, I agree but sometimes curiosity does get the better of us. The third year was the breakthrough, but not for the others. It was my breakthrough; I was breaking free. I stepped into the fire once more, the first time in centuries. It held me and embraced me. It warmed my cold heart and thawed the ice in my mind. I found my way back to the spot I had been sitting in back then. I sat down, in the exact same way and closed my eyes.
Whispers echoed through my mind, warm and welcoming. There was something I lost when I met Kim, something I left behind. It was mine once more and I felt complete. I now understood why the flame would not die, it had nothing to do with Kim. It was my flame. This was perhaps the greatest of my years, or it would have been if not for my interruption. It was the sixth month and I morphed the world around me from a forest to a city and back many times. I painted the streets and freed the music from the boxes on the corner. The world was living again, in the way it was intended to live. Things were perfect, and I was perfectly alone. And then she came along.
Marie-Lynn in mid-year came to find me. She did find me and didn't like what she saw. I was sitting in the fire still, living vicariously through the music and art around me. My eyes were closed but I could see across the land; I knew she was coming.
A scream evaporated into the air. She was angry. She was angry you see, because I never told her about the times before Kim so she just saw the fire as what Kim left behind. She was terribly misinformed of course, as was I. I knew the words she screamed at me would soon be forgotten, lost in the soothing music. My eyes remained shut, but a voice was sent into her ears as a whisper. It told her to relax, the fire is not as it appears. She did not listen and would not shut her trap so I swept her off her feet with a gust of wind and brought her to the edge of the fire.
She never knew how to control the world like I was right then. I had total control, I could make sounds out of nothing and give power to what has none. I opened my eyes and she saw the change that the fire gave me. My eyesight had improved immensely, I could see the broken dagger that lied on the ground about, I'd say at least three kilometers away. I could see it crystal clear and it's intricate design on the blade. I had seen her drop it in a vision, shocked at the size of the fire. I sent the roots to grab it and rocks to break it. She would not betray me with no weapon.
I stepped out of the fire, being as calm as she was not. She immediately slapped me and I started laughing. Shock shot across her face, why was I laughing? I explained to her the true nature of that fire, something that was even lost to me. I explained to her that it was what gave me the ability to do so much here; it gave me hope. But it didn't give me hope for a trivial human need, it gave me hope for my own survival in a world that seeks to destroy me.
I am a black sheep.
-Zero
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