If I'm being honest (poem)

 Inspired by dodie's "If I'm being honest"

I thought I had it all figured out

when I was only fifteen.

I just had to find the right girl.

She was out there somewhere.

She would love me unconditionally

and our love would shape our world.

Our first meeting would be a thundercrash

and our first kiss would be a parade.

I thought then I would love myself,

and my world of grey returned to light.

Holding my breath for her, I choked,

and desperation clasped around my neck.

Could you love this?

A grey so desperate, it's suffocating,

empty promises of a future of light

from a talking shadow.

Do you think they planned to fall,

those past loves of mine?

If I'm being honest,

I think I tripped them.

Deep in my grey pit,

I hoped we would fly out,

but that hope had a cost,

because no love gives humans wings.

There was only one way out:

painfully scale the rocky walls.

I was waiting for a hero to save me,

but no one could carry that burden.

If I'm being honest,

I thought I had it all figured out:

chained to a cave wall

I lectured on the world I had never seen.

-Zero