Dear Internet Stranger (poem)

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I don't often write little blurbs before my poems when posting them, but this poem is something special to me. As long time readers might know, I have had an interest in obsession for years now. I've written a number of short essays on the matter as well.  This poem, while inspired by songs not necessarily borne of obsession, stems from the strange obscenity that is online obsession. Sometimes we like to think we know people well because of how they share online, like someone we have some deep personal relationship with them. Well, unsurprisingly strangers talking to a camera are still strangers. Anyhow, enjoy this poem written from the perspective of the obsessed.

Songs that inspired this piece: "Bad Ideas" and "Crush" by Tessa Violet

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I was drawn to you the moment I saw you,

just a still image on a screen,

but I felt there was more to it

so I clicked and here I am.

Tempted first by your beauty

and then enticed by your melodic voice,

I find myself drowning in a crush

on you, a girl I've never met.

I know I'm a little bit intense,

but if you could see what I see

you would understand why:

who sees an angel and does not rejoice?

But I'm not trying to be with you,

just, I don't know,

this is a bad idea,

and I can't get enough.

I had a dream last night.

Enveloped in its thick haze,

all I could see was you,

white smoke lightly dusting your body.

And I pretend you aren't on my mind

while scrolling through your posts

thinking how I could be your crush,

how you're all I want and more.

I just have to know what you and I feel like,

to have my hands stitched in yours,

run my fingertips on your collarbones,

kiss you standing up

in the doorway after our first date,

coffee that crumbles space and time:

we'll be there for hours

but it'll feel like seconds.

This bad idea, I know where it leads,

to a silence that will teach me hate:

how could you just ignore me like that?

how could you betray me like this?

Internet stranger, we could have been so happy.

We're destined for each other, I've decided,

me, a stranger who tried to woo you online.

Isn't it obvious we belong together?

-Zero