Monday, September 10, 2012
My Love for the Empty Romance (non-fiction)
Upon completion of a novel, titled "Strangers", I came to realize what I enjoy most in literature. I dare say that I feel it strangely fitting, if not worrisome. After all, what I enjoy most in literature is the idea of an empty, or broken romance. Simply put, I would rather a sad ending than a happy one. Perhaps I was born to prefer tragedies over love stories. Perhaps I simply take pleasure in seeing others suffer. Or perhaps it is because I see myself as the character in each one. I believe the last is the most accurate. I have been constantly bothered with memories that claim that I am to blame for the loss of those I do truly love. It has been many years now. First it began with Admeta, if you will, which is reflected in my unpublished novel "The Knife In Admeta's Back". When I had first started writing about Admeta, there was still hope in the love component, but reality hit me with a force I had not expected, making me lose any hope that I had possessed. I moved on, more or less, and continued. Of course, then came Kim, who I had fallen for even harder than I did Admeta. Our relationship would not last, leaving me empty and broken like the romance we once shared. She ended up manifesting herself in many short stories and novels ("Kuna Zero: A Wanderer's Tale" and "The Beginning of the End"), but even those that began romantic were crushed by a perpetual feeling of loneliness. There is no happy ending with Kim. And then I met Marie-Lynn, but of course, she was but a figment of my imagination; and therefore, I was tormented by the reality that I could never have her. But alas, the true Marie-Lynn has seen no ending what so ever, as she only appears in "The Beginning of the End" which is still in development. I do not know how it will end. However, after the original Marie-Lynn came the Brianna girl, who I ended up associating with Marie-Lynn in a poor attempt to realize that dream. If you have read the "Wanderer's Journal", then you should be quite aware of the second Marie-Lynn's hopeless and tragic ending. I see no break in the cycle, except for perhaps with the only one who does not exist.
Above, as you may have noticed, is a photograph that has been edited. It is my style, I suppose, as it is mostly black with some white. I am the one who took the photograph and edited it, for those who may wonder. It was on purely artistic inspiration. I do not usually tamper with photography. But I digress. The photograph is titled "Empty Romance" and thus displays the empty, or broken, romance that I have been writing about for so long. I shall explain it, for I am afraid that some symbols may have much more meaning to myself. First, I shall speak of the empty bench in the center of the frame. Perhaps due to some other art work, the bench represents a romantic setting. In this photograph, however, it is quite small and almost transparent, similar to the romance itself. Moreover, it is empty and the entire photograph is entirely devoid of people. The trees that hang over blend together to create one large black mass, giving a sense of an overwhelming darkness. The entire purpose of this photograph is to portray the emptiness of the romances that I have so far experienced. I dare not say that it is intended to depict the emptiness of romance as a whole, while that may be an interpretation. Anyways, it is late and perhaps I ought to read more about loneliness and such. Take care, will you? Until next time,
-Zero
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