She took me down to the river in her little silver honda. The trees peered down on us, curious as to what we were up to. I wondered if animals around could sense what was about to take place in a way, so they would flee. I hate this woman. I've hated her for so long without letting it show.
Today she's going down.
Maybe I should mention why I hate her so much. The funny thing about hate is that it is born from love, born from love and hate. Her name is Kim in her home. She has dark brown hair and hazel eyes that seem to stretch for an eternity. Kim is the love of my life.
I have always loved her.
Once she was mine and I knew it was not a lie. She has tried many times to convince me otherwise since then, but nothing has convinced me. She did love me, she just won't admit it. She loved me and for a short while actually admitted it, for three weeks to be exact. Then she took her leave.
"What did you want to show me?"
Her pointless question and dreadful voice only drove me more insane with anger, but I merely smiled and said, "You'll see."
Today, I do what she did to me. I know that she'll never be mine again, but I won't die without her by my side. I let my eyelids slide down over my eyes and I can see the raging fires swirling around me. They are my guides in this quest, they are the masters of my fate. It is almost time.
I pull a small knife out of my pocket as I step out of her little car and walk alongside her towards the river. All the years of planning, all the pain, soon it will all be okay. They say revenge is a dish best served cold.
"Jesse! What are you doing?" She screams as she sees me holding the knife.
I grab her long brown hair that I used to love so much. With the knife in hand, I cut her shirt right down to the bottom and it plummets to the ground like a corpse; revealing her bare back. No man could ever truly explain what a heart break feels like, because he's too broken to understand it.
"Jesse? What are you doing?" Fear fills her voice and cold heart.
Her wretched voice only feeds my burning rage and hate more and more. I just want to be done with her. I want to be free of this torture. I take the blade and start to carve words into her back, making sure that they will scar. Betrayer, liar and whore are what she is, it's only fitting that it's written on her.
She burst into tears as she screamed in pain. "Why are you doing this?";
Seeing the glorious blood stream down her back I, being a man of small desires, lean in and drink some of it off of her back. I somehow already knew what her blood would taste like, is it the same as my own or something else entirely? No matter what it was like, it was sweet without question and warm.
I spin her around and relish in the power and control I have over her. She's at my mercy and she knows it. Her eyes cry out in fear and regret. This will be the last word that will be carved into her heart, but not the last scar I will leave her with. Looking down at her breasts I prepare to carve the final word.
"What are you going to do to me?" She breaths between heavy sobs.
Taking the knife I slowly carve the last word into her soft breasts. More blood flows out of her but I restrain myself from drinking it. I am god right now. She is my pathetic little minion, my slave, my little bitch. I step back and gaze at my final outer marking, Slut was carved into her breasts.
Now she is having more trouble breathing, I love it. "Why...?" She hardly gets out of her lungs. Isn't hate such a wonderful thing? It empowers me to be able to do these things. It empowers me to exact my revenge with every step going just as planned.
And now the final step in my revenge. I tear my shirt apart, revealing my scarred chest. She fell to her knees and her head dropped in shame. I could see that she knew what she made me do to myself.
Back when she and I were together I did some marijuana on occasion. She didn't know about it and I only told her after she left me for him, for my best friend. She told me it was probably karma for doing drugs. I haven't touched the horrid stuff since that day and I still don't have her back, I don't think it was karma.
The problem with stopping completely is that marijuana calms people down but it kills off endorphins and people end up needing it to feel happy. In less than an hour I lost everything that made me happy. I was sent into one of the darkest places mankind has ever seen, the heartbroken depression. Another thing about marijuana is that when most people stop, they have a period of severe anger.
Drowning in my endless sea of sorrow and burning up with rage, I carved a message for her in my chest. I scarred myself so that one day, I could scar her. But mere flesh scars never do the job, people recover and they don't care much after a while. They can always just hide them away. Today I scarred her so she would never forget what she did to me.
With the three simple words etched on my chest, I took my blood-stained knife and looked her right in the eyes. She didn't even try to run, or pick herself up off the ground. She just remained there like a statue.
I stabbed the neck with the blade and blood quickly engulfed it. I fell to the ground, finally complete. My life is complete, I am satisfied with my end. The pain right now might be unbearable but it's still better than the pain I get from thinking about living without her. Ignoring the pain I looked up at her and gave her a weak smile.
She stared at me intensely. She doesn't understand why I would take my own life instead of hers. I knew one day she might understand but for now I can only tell her so much. And so with my last breath I spoke the words etched deep in my chest.
"I love you."
-Zero
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